I wasn't just in the mood to drive to work today because 1, I didn't want to encounter the crazy traffic in all its ramifications 2, I didn't want to compete for driving space with other road users who would also be rushing to work and 3, I didn't want to get to work with my body feeling sore from the hectic driving.
So I decided to leave my car at home and take the bus. As I trekked to the bus stop the early morning breeze was just caressing my face, I got that feeling you get when you're taking an early morning walk. What's the word for it......cool, calm, at peace....you know, all those kain feelings.
I had a good night's rest and woke up bright and strong.I had ironed my cloth with a very good brand of spray starch so my clothes just snuggled well on me. My shoes were on point and my perfume was divine. In fact, I got the inspiration that today was gonna be great! In fact, I was about to start singing that James Brown's song "I feel good, tarararararara" but I decided to hum it.
I got to my bus stop and met a few other passengers with whom I exchanged pleasantries and stood waiting for the bus to come along. The early morning sun was gradually rising so I brought out my designer shades and slipped them on. I even struck a slight pose and continued waiting for the bus. I couldn't help it but I was seriously forming ‘fine woman tins’. I stood there close to an hour and still no bus was forth coming. By this time I was already sweating from the beaming sun and I was no longer in the mood to strike a pose. I just stood with both hands on my hips with a deep frown that made me look like a 75 old lady. My lips were pouting out in irritation and the fact that I would be late for work only made matters worse. Of course, the few passengers I had met earlier on was now a crowd all waiting for the bus too.
Finally, we heard the loud honk from the bus. I didn't know when I rolled up the sleeves of my blouse, removed my shades and jacked up my skirt a bit in preparation for a mad rush for the bus. These same set of people that had earlier been nice suddenly turned hostile. You see what scarcity of anything can cause? Some people had already started running towards the bus. Everyone was elbowing and either pulling or pushing someone just to get on the bus. One fat woman then decided to retie her wrapper and blocked the bus door with her big bumbum! Nobody else could enter the bus till she was done. When she managed to heave her bulbous self in, the scramble began again. What amused me later on was that she occupied 3 seats and insisted on paying for one seat. Yes, she was that fat.
Anyway, as I was about to sit down I didn't see a piece of iron jutting out beside a chair and the next thing I heard was zzzzaaaaaa! Noooo, this can't be happening but it was happening. My skirt tore at the back! Hey Chineke!! What was I to do? The best I could do was to sit tight and figure out what to do when we got to my destination. I was so self conscious of my predicament that I couldn't think straight. When I got down, I looked like I had been in a cat fight. But I straightened my clothes, smoothed my hair, held my head up and started walking towards the entrance of my office.
As I was walking the cleaner said, "Aunty, your skirt don tear for back o". Yes, I know but don't tell me about it. In the lift, a colleague tried to be polite and said, "Madam, there's something on your skirt. You might want to check it out". The look I gave him sure kept him mute for the rest of the ride in the lift.
When I got off my floor, I didn't even say hi to anyone but maintained a look that screamed, "don't you dare speak to me about my torn skirt". They were all staring after me with some of them obviously amused. I wished the floor would open but I finally made it into my office and first heaved a huge sigh of relief then slumped into my chair and drank this very chilled glass of water. Just then, the office assistant popped in and before she could say hi I said, "before you say anything, help me borrow a scarf from anyone. I don't care if you have to go to a market and borrow from the market women there, just get me a scarf". Luckily for me, I got one within the office...whew!
I looked awkward tying a scarf around my waist, lol. Some people that didn't know my gist asked me why I was dressed like that but I simply told them that it was my fashion for the day. As for my boss, I had the true explanation for him.
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